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Thursday, March 3, 2011

It's a....

sweet little boy.  I had no idea how grateful I would be the moment I saw that squirming little miracle on the screen.  I was thrilled.  Knowing that my raised risk for "neuro-tube defects" {hydro-cephallus, spinabifida, cleft palette} caused by my anti-seizure medicine, there's always a niggling fear at the edge of my mind.  After much wait, I got to hear the wonderful words that allowed me to release a breathe yesterday {a breath I didn't even realize I was holding} "What a beautiful spine". 

At this time for giving thanks and recognizing God's blessings for Team Peterson, it never occurred to me that this news may seem tragic in any way to anyone. Not sure if people are more comfortable with symmetry in gender or thinking that a girl would somehow add more to our happiness.  I felt a strange pressure to deliver the news that almost everyone was asking of me.  Revealing the gender caused a strange reaction among many who were "convinced it was a girl".  Our blue cake caused such confusion that some people didn't even  recover enough to offer a "congratulations" as they left.  Now, please don't get me wrong, if it had been a pink cake, there are many happy things to look forward to as well!  I know the strong bond of sisterhood and would've loved to watch Marlee enjoy the perks that I have been lucky enough to have with my amazing sister... but is it fair of me to think that the only way for her to have a happy life is to live one just like mine? Who's to say their personalities would allow them to become best friends?  I so look forward to the days when her brothers tower over her, tease her, and most of all look out for her every happiness. 

Last night I awoke to these thoughts and couldn't find sleep again for over an hour.  As I tried to gather my thoughts, I heard tiny footsteps enter my room {a rare occasion, but not unheard of} and Carter approached my bed informing me that he was scared.  I wordlessly lifted the covers for him to climb in and he expertly molded his little body to fit right into my embrace and I listened as his breathing began to slow.  I fell into a deep sleep with the knowledge that God has created the perfect family for me and I cannot wait to see the things he is going to do with each one of my children.  3 boys and a girl.  I am blessed beyond measure.


  1. You are awesome! Congrats....